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5 TIPS FROM….. OLES

Hi there Wooster! Bringing back the ‘Five Tips’ is a good move. At first I wanted to send you five ‘tippies’ for making five ‘stikkies’, but that’s a Dutch joke nobody would understand… So here are some other tips that work international.

tip een;

With stickers, always make sure that the sticky side goes on the surface. If you don’t want anyone peeling them off, just take a sharp stanlyknife and cut it up like a raging idiot. This way, they have to peel over a hundred different pieces. Make sure there’s foam on the corners of your mouth, so passers by won’t stop to make comments. Also, cutting your stickers with a pair of special ‘zigzag’ scissors, makes removing really difficult.

tip twee;

When you see an old man or woman trying to cross the street, don’t be a basterd. Help them cross. Do make sure to put some stickers on their back. They walk through town very slow, and can bee seen as a good sticking object. If they are really old, and forget alot, the sticker can last up to a week! You can off course apply this ‘old school’ method on every person.

tip drie;

If your girl askes you a question concerning here weight, (‘honey, does this make me look fat?’) run like the wind!

tip vier;

Make sure you always got a few friends working at strategic places like a bar, a liquor store, a restaurant, a copy shop, a bar, a graphic appliance store, a bar, a post office, etc. etc.

tip vijf;

If you find a carton of milk dated back in the nineties, slowly open it and drink it in one big gulp. Then, just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Finally I got a sixth tip; If you go to Rotterdam, DON’T WEAR AN AMSTERDAM AJAX SHIRT!