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May 27, 2005
Catchin' Up With... Zoltron
From Zoltron:
"Apparently, some article in some section of some public works code for the city of San Francisco says that if your company name or logo is publicly posted anywhere on city property, you are responsible for the cost of having the posts removed. I was told that they implemented this law to make politicians responsible for removing their branding after the elections were over.
So mysteriously, when someone complained that hundreds of Zoltron posters were spackled on bus stops, lamp posts and garbage cans throughout their beautiful city, the Dept. of Public Works did a little research. With the help of a little tool called google, they matched the name to the website, found my mailing address and simply sent me a bill that covered the cost of labor and expenses for removing every Zoltron poster they could find. A virtual scavenger hunt for Robert Mendoza. Robert's the guy the city charges $75 per hour for removing paper off of walls.
Robert was doing his public service hours working off a misdemeanor and the city was charging me $75 for every hour he worked... (If I had known, I would have watered down my paste recipe) Not a bad mark up for the city. Shit, If I could make $75 an hour using a spray bottle and a putty knife, I'd throw my antiquated computer in the Ocean and grab a 5 in 1.. Anyways, Robert does the labor. Zoltron pays the bill. The Mayor buys a new pair of Oakleys.. In all fairness, they were quite thoughtful though, and along with the invoice they included several
dozen CIA style "on location/proof" photographs of my posters. Don't be mistaken, the Bureau of Street Services cares.
Here's a copy of the bill. The scary part is that they "require" me to register all of the unlawful posters with the Bureau of Street Mapping. Hmm.. I really want to comply officer, but that seems a little bit extreme. I'm already in the Public Works Graffiti filing cabinet under Z. And as far as helping to eliminate your so called "Urban Blight", I'd like to point out that we all have our opinions of what exactly "Urban Blight" is.. The dictionary meaning behind "Blight" is. Something that impairs growth, withers hopes and ambitions, or impedes progress and prosperity. Does the Zoltron smiling man guy look like the type of character that would impede progress or wither hope ? I would hope not.
Yeah, I'd say that the San Francisco Bureau of Street Environmental Services is the conclusive definition of Urban Blight... Right?
Zoltron
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